PdEI Process Followed at Each Meeting
Each monthly meeting begins at 3pm and ends with a self-pay dinner. No one that attends these meeting is late or absent without penalty, and everyone is required to attend both the meeting and the dinner on all the dates pre-committed to by each member.
PdEI follows this procedure and agreed prior to by all participating members. The overlying priority of all PdEI Groups is safety, by providing the comfort to all members that whatever they disclose will be fully accepted and supported by the group.
(1) Host Prep, per the Manual, at least three days prior, to allow adequate reflection. Reviews of host's biggest concern, concluding with host's objective for the meeting.
(2) Presentation/monologue (3PM) from the Host, following the manual protocol.
(3) Clarifying Questions: These questions are entirely focused on clarifying what has been said by the host in his monologue, and not what might be said, or what options might be considered. These questions are entirely for clarification only, to help all members in the group understand what has already been presented. Clarifying questions are all supportive, non-challenging questions that can readily be answered by the Host. These are meant to be exceedingly safe, providing the additional purpose of allowing the host ample time to recover from the monologue.
(4) Shared Experiences: These are restricted only to first person experiences that directly relate to the Host's issue. Typically, only one to three, or at the most four, would ever have had an experience identical or so closely related.
(5) Positive Inquiry: At the host's option, and given the Host's earlier stated objective, the members provide questions that allow the Host to explore, by those questions, options the host may or may not have considered in better understanding the issues involved. These questions could never be considered, from any perspective, as advice.
(6) If I Were In Your Shoes: At the host's option, each member provides a single sentence summary of what they would do, if they were the host, using "I statements."
(7) Moment of Gratitude: Each member gives a short, sincere, summary of gratitude as to what he or she admired most about the host in presenting the issues.
(8) Break: (This gives time for the Host to absorb everything just presented, allows time for everyone to reflect, and shows quiet respect for the Host.)
(9) Updates: 3 to 5 minutes each of the one best, and the one worst, personal event in the past thirty days
Safety Rule
Until the habit is formed, for those that inadvertently interrupt, or in any way, cause discomfort to another member, the moderator immediately taps a glass, the conversation stops, the group notes the concern, the offender accepts the correction, the offended member feels supported by the process, and the entire group is reinforced by the process.
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